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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27849406">when it gets cold I'll be yours</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/scienceblues/pseuds/scienceblues'>scienceblues</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Human, Angels as Humans (Supernatural), Christmas, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Happiest Season AU, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Meet the Family, Mild Language, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Secret Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:02:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,948</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27849406</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/scienceblues/pseuds/scienceblues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas fidgets on the seat beside him. Not that Cas never fidgets, but it’s still enough to put Dean on alert. “I told you that since everyone was there, I told them about us. About me.”</p><p>Dean has a sinking suspicion he knows where this is going. “Cas, don’t tell me-”</p><p>“I didn’t tell them.”</p><p>---</p><p>A loose (happier) adaptation of Happiest Season.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic comes from a place of head empty only canon Destiel along with wishing Happiest Season had been slightly less angsty than it turned out to be. I loved it a lot, don't get me wrong, but we can make things a little happier in this AU, right? All the characters are human versions of themselves rather than strictly following the plot, but it's definitely heavily flavored by most of the major beats from the movie. </p><p>I haven't written any spn fic in more than five years (and never published any of that), and haven't written much in general in a hot second - tried just to have fun writing this instead of taking it too seriously. Hopefully it's readable!</p><p>Thank you Haley for letting me raid your pop punk Christmas song playlist for a title &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean hasn’t always been the biggest fan of the holiday season, but damn if the multicolored lights playing over the soft smile on Cas’s face from the displays up and down the street isn’t a sight to see. </p><p>Cas’s fingers are twined with Dean’s on the seat between them, and that doesn’t hurt either. It’s worth keeping the Impala at a snail’s pace as they drive down the street to take in the light displays - Cas’s idea, but one that Dean is warming to, especially since they’re tucked into a familiar leather interior rather than freezing solid by walking the route outside. </p><p>“Thanks for making the time for this. I know it’s not your favorite.” </p><p>It’s almost creepy, how Cas knows what he’s thinking sometimes. “I don’t mind. Really. Besides, you’re gonna be gone almost all of next week.”</p><p>Cas turns that smile towards Dean, now with a teasing edge to it. “What, are you admitting you’re going to miss me?” </p><p>Dean clears his throat. “You know I will.” He <em> hates </em> it when Cas leaves, even if it’s only for a few days. “Man, are you sure you gotta go? You go see them every year, and you don’t even enjoy it half the time.”</p><p>“That’s not true,” Cas says, but it’s half-hearted at best. </p><p>“You always take a few extra days off after you get back. A vacation from your vacation.”</p><p>“Maybe that’s because I always miss you,” Cas says, low and warm, looking up at Dean through his lashes. </p><p>After that look, Dean doesn’t think he can be blamed for hastily squeezing into a parking space on the side of the street and kissing Cas senseless against the passenger door. Cas doesn’t seem to blame him, either, going by the hands tugging him closer and eagerly trying to sneak under all four layers of clothing.</p><p>Loud hoots and raucous laughter from a passing group of drunken college students jerk them rudely from their warm bubble, and Dean’s elbow bangs into the steering wheel and deafens them briefly with the horn. Both of them freeze for a half-second before collapsing into laughter, and somehow Dean winds up leaning into Cas again. The only thing better than the light displays shining through the windows onto Cas’s face while he’s smiling might be while he’s breathless with laughter, shaking with the force of it.</p><p>They stay there for a long minute as they come down, long plumes of breath mingling in the space between them, before Cas says, suddenly serious, “You could come with me.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Come with me, meet my family. I hate the idea of you being alone for Christmas.”</p><p>Dean opens his mouth to tell Cas he can’t, he’s already agreed to look after Sam’s dog while he’s away with Eileen and her family, until he really thinks about it. Years of trying to make crappy hotel rooms feel festive, then driving Sam up to Bobby’s to give him a semblance of a normal family Christmas once Dad died and left them officially on their own. The past couple years since Bobby passed have been harder, but Dean hasn’t done a half-bad job considering it’s just the two of them.</p><p>He’s resigned himself to being alone this year. And he told Cas he didn’t mind, really, Cas will be back for New Year’s Eve anyway, but-</p><p>“I’d like that.”</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>“So what, you’re heading off to freaking Detroit last minute? Hope you and your car can handle the snow, dude.”  </p><p>Fighting words, but Charlie’s busy inspecting the array of dice before her, so Dean decides to be magnanimous and give her a pass. He should’ve known when he bribed her into coming with him with a trip to the local game store that they’d wind up spending more time here than on his actual errands, too. She’s lucky he’s so fond of her. “Like we don’t get any here?” he points out, and she shrugs. </p><p>“Fair. Why this year of all years to subject yourself to the in-laws, though?”</p><p>Dean must pause for too long, because before he knows it, Charlie’s looking at him closely, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Dean.”</p><p>Dean fumbles for words for a few seconds before landing on, “Pick out the ones you want and I’ll show you, okay?”</p><p>The cost of Charlie taking over dog-sitting duty comes out to only one set of elaborately engraved lapis dice, which Dean happily forks over the cash for before steering Charlie out of the shop and down the street. Luckily it isn’t that far of a walk - not that Charlie doesn’t do her best to guess where they’re headed the whole time, coming up with increasingly ridiculous scenarios the further they go.</p><p>Her mouth clicks shut when Dean opens the door to a tastefully understated storefront with only a few pieces of jewelry on display in the window. She slants an assessing look at him. “So, not buttering me up to invest in your paranormal investigations startup, huh?”</p><p>Too anxious to respond properly, Dean instead ushers Charlie into the store and gives his name to the clerk behind the counter. He drums his fingers against the glass display before he realizes he probably shouldn’t, and tries to casually swipe his shirtsleeve across the glass to wipe away any fingerprints he might’ve left. Charlie just keeps watching him with a knowing look as the clerk makes her way back, a small velvet box in hand. </p><p>As soon as the clerk opens the box to reveal his mom’s ring, perfectly resized, nestled into the silk lining, Charlie socks him in the arm with a delighted squeal. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were gonna ask him! At least you picked a good one without me!”</p><p>Dean’s throat is tight as he accepts the box from the clerk. He hung onto every piece of his mom’s jewelry that survived the fire, once he’d found them while cleaning out Dad’s storage unit after his death. The same delicately tooled gold surface glints up at him from among the silk like it has since he first sat down and cleaned away years of neglect upon finding it.</p><p>There’s no other ring he’d rather give to Cas.</p><p>“It was one of Mom’s,” he manages around the lump in his throat. Charlie threads one of her arms into Dean’s and leans against him, squeezing him in a half-hug. “Not her fanciest, but it was one of her favorites. I remember her being careful about taking it off every time she baked.” </p><p>“He’ll love it,” Charlie says softly. She waits until the ring is safely packaged away again and they’re on their way out of the shop, heading back towards the lot they parked in. “When are you planning on asking him?”</p><p>Dean shrugs. “I was originally thinking New Year’s Eve - start the year off right, you know? But Christmas is such a big deal in his family, so if meeting them all goes okay, I might ask him on Christmas. We’ll see.”</p><p>“Well, let me know if you need some moral support beforehand. I’ll just be hanging out with Sam’s dog, and we’re a phone call away if you need us.”</p><p>Dean laughs and throws an arm around Charlie’s shoulders. “Thanks, Charlie. You’re the best.”</p><p>“And don’t you forget it.”</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Normally Dean would manage to work up some nerves in the final hours before something as important as meeting his partner’s family, but it’s a twelve-hour drive from their apartment to Cas’s family home. He’s got Cas and his car, a bunch of cassettes to avoid ever having to hear any holiday music on the radio, and the reassuring weight of a jewelry box in one of his jacket pockets. Their chosen route even has minimal traffic and no construction. All in all, Dean’s feeling pretty good about life in general, enough to keep him relaxed even as they eat up the miles between them and Michigan. Cas seems more nervous than Dean is, to be honest. </p><p>They’re swinging north not long after crossing into Indiana when Cas squeezes Dean’s hand where it sits on the seat between them. “I need to tell you something else about my family.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Dean’s been bugging Cas about everyone since he agreed to come along. If he’s going to meet four out of Cas’s five siblings, he wants to make the best impression he can, and that means learning stuff about them all beforehand. He’s pretty sure they’ve been over most of the basics, but he’s game for whatever else Cas thinks he needs to know beforehand.</p><p>“Do you - ah. Do you remember when I visited them this summer for Jack’s birthday?”</p><p>As if Dean could forget. The picture of Cas and his nephew fast asleep on one of the rocking chairs on the front porch of their hotel on Mackinac Island graced his phone’s lock screen for months afterwards. “Yeah, it was a big deal because <em> everyone </em> showed up for once, including Jack’s dad.”</p><p>“Yes. Luke hasn’t come for Christmas since he and Kelly split, which is for the best. Family holidays have been much quieter.”</p><p>“Okay.” A minute passes, with only the rush of the road passing beneath them filling the silence. “So...yeah, I remember. What about it?”</p><p>Cas fidgets on the seat beside him. Not that Cas <em> never </em> fidgets, but it’s still enough to put Dean on alert. “I told you that since everyone was there, I told them about us. About me.”</p><p>Dean has a sinking suspicion he knows where this is going. “Cas, don’t tell me-”</p><p>“I didn’t tell them.”</p><p>Before he can think too hard about it, Dean jerks the steering wheel to the right and brings the Impala to a rolling stop on the side of the road. Cas reluctantly meets his eyes when Dean turns to look at him, equal parts ashamed and anxious, framed by the desolate snow-covered cornfield out the window behind him.</p><p>“Then who the hell do they think you’re bringing for Christmas? Just a friend?” It stings more than he thought it would - he’s never had to deal with this, never known anyone in Kansas City who doesn’t know them as a package deal. Even Cas’s obnoxious work friends like Balthazar know about them, for God’s sake.</p><p>Cas fidgets again. “I did tell them you were going to spend the holiday alone otherwise. And that we live together. Just not - <em> together </em>.”</p><p>“Oh, so now I’m the sad roommate with no family to speak of, huh?” Dean huffs out an annoyed breath and looks away. He takes a minute to compose himself before he speaks again. “I wish you’d told me. Or told them, either one would’ve worked.”</p><p>“Dean.” One of Cas’s hands reaches across the bench, palm turned upwards, waiting. “You know I’m not the closest with my family. Spending Christmas together is the only real interaction I usually have with them outside of the occasional text. But Michael’s heading up a merger of the family business that’ll expand things nationwide, and <em> everyone’s </em> been stressed about it since he announced it while we were up in Mackinac, and if I tell them about us before the everything’s signed then I don’t think they’ll take it as well as if I tell them afterwards.”</p><p>Cas’s expression is so earnest. And sure, he <em> definitely </em> could’ve handled this better, but if there’s one thing he knows about Cas, it’s that he’s the master of good intentions. Besides, it’s not like Dean isn’t familiar with having a complicated relationship with family. </p><p>He lets out the breath he’s been holding and reaches out to take the offered hand. He’s annoyed, sure, but he <em> gets </em> it, more than he’d like to. Besides, he can’t bring himself to leave Cas hanging like that.</p><p>Eyes soft, Cas tightens his fingers over Dean’s and lifts their entangled hands to his lips. “You’re my family, Dean. I don’t need their approval, but I do want them to love you as much as I do. If I tell them while all this stress is hanging over them I don’t know that they’ll give you a fair chance.”</p><p>“As much as you do, huh?”</p><p>A slow smile unfurls on Cas’s face. “Well. That might be difficult.”</p><p>Hell if Dean could be mad at him after that, even if he wanted to.</p><p>“You’re still gonna make it up to me later,” he says firmly, and Cas nods his agreement. “But hey, I still get to spend the holiday with you. Guarantee that’s better than spending most of a week stuck with Sam’s dog for company.”</p><p>“You say that now. Wait til you meet them,” Cas says, voice dry, and the roar of the engine as they pull back onto the road drowns out Dean’s laughter.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>After all of Cas’s comments about his siblings being a generally awkward bunch that aren’t particularly close, Dean isn’t expecting the greeting that comes once the front door to the swanky brick mansion swings open.</p><p>“You made it!” Dean only gets a brief glimpse of a short blond man before he’s reeling Cas into an exuberant hug. </p><p>Cas patiently puts up with the crushing embrace for far longer than Dean would before finally someone else wanders over to the entryway to investigate, prompting a round of more restrained hugs and handshakes from the others.</p><p>Dean’s done his homework, studied the stiff family photos on Cas’s phone, all of it. So when the focus shifts away from Cas and towards the newcomer, he puts on his most charming grin and starts doling out the handshakes. “Hey there - Anna and Gabriel, right? Michael, nice to finally meet you.” Luke he’ll probably never meet, and Raphael’s job putting out legal fires for the company never allows him to show up any earlier than Christmas Eve, but he can at least try to win over the remainder of the siblings first.</p><p>“It was so kind of Castiel to invite his roommate for the holiday,” Michael says, a polite smile fixed firmly in place. Dean makes sure to shake his hand for a shade longer than he should, grinning wide.</p><p>“Sure was! Cas really is a great guy, isn’t he?” </p><p>“We weren’t sure if you were going to get here tonight or not. Everyone else was here for dinner.”</p><p>“Well, everyone else had a much shorter drive,” Cas points out, but nobody seems to be listening. </p><p>“Uncle Cas!” </p><p>There’s only one kid in the family, so it doesn’t take much to figure out who the five-year-old launching himself at Cas’s legs and the woman hurrying along behind him are. Cas manages to intercept Jack before he launches himself at his legs and scoops him up into a bear hug, sending Jack into a fit of delighted giggles. “He heard the commotion downstairs and had to come say hi.”</p><p>“Sorry, Kelly.”</p><p>She shakes her head and flashes Cas probably the most genuine smile that Dean’s seen since he got here. “Don’t worry about it. Glad you got in alright.”</p><p>After Dean introduces himself, he and Kelly stand off to the side making small talk about the weather and the holiday traffic while Jack talks Cas’s ear off about the snowmen and snow angels he made earlier in the day. The kid <em> finally </em> takes a breath and looks somewhere other than Cas, tilting his head in confusion. “Who’s that?”</p><p>“Jack, this is my friend Dean.”</p><p>The kid lifts his hand in greeting but apparently forgets to wave it. It’s maybe more endearing than it should be. “Hello!”</p><p>“Hi, Jack. Nice dinosaur jammies you got there.”</p><p>Jack’s grin brightens his whole face. “They were an early Christmas present!”</p><p>“And you’re wearing them for a reason, kiddo,” Kelly reminds him. To his credit, Jack doesn’t pout too much when Cas sets him down and his mom ushers him up the stairs after what Dean suspects is a second round of goodnights to everyone.</p><p>Anna heads over to them after Jack’s safely upstairs. “I’m sure after a drive like that you want to get settled. Here, I can show you your rooms. ” </p><p>As they trail behind her up the stairs, Anna says, “Cas, you’re in your old room. Dean, we’ve got you next door in the guest room Jack usually stays in - don’t worry, we cleaned out all the kid stuff. No risk of stuffed toys starting to talk to you in the middle of the night.”</p><p>Shifting uncomfortably, Dean shoots a glance at Cas behind Anna’s back. “I’d, uh - I’d be fine with just an air mattress on Cas’s floor, to be honest. Don’t want to put anyone out of their room.”</p><p>She waves a dismissive hand. “Kelly doesn’t mind having Jack in with her. Besides, we’d never put a grown man on the floor in someone else’s room when we just had to do a little bit of shuffling!” </p><p>Cas meets Dean’s eyes with an apologetic grimace before thanking Anna and slipping into his room. Left on his own, Dean pastes on a friendly smile and follows Anna next door, taking in the bathroom and linen closet she points out on the way.</p><p>It’s a perfectly nice guest room, no trace of its usual occupant in sight. Dean sets his duffel down at the foot of the bed and turns to find Anna still there. “Thanks again. Appreciate you all hosting me on such short notice.”</p><p>“I know Cas sometimes feels a little like an outsider at these big family events, so it’s really nice of you to come along with him so he has a friend here.” It’s only when Anna smiles at him that Dean realizes she’s standing <em> awfully </em> close. “Especially if you had someone else you were going to spend the holiday with…?”</p><p>“Oh, no, uh-” Dean fumbles for words and scratches the back of his neck nervously, taking a half-step back. “No, uh, my brother’s spending time with his fiancée’s family, and I...just went through a breakup. Actually. So it was just going to be me for Christmas.”</p><p>To his dismay, Anna’s expression doesn’t change. Hastily, Dean continues, “I’m pretty broken up about getting dumped. Gonna take a while to get over it.”</p><p>Finally she gets the hint and her smile loses its hint of interest. “Still was nice of you to come along. Let any of us know if you need anything, alright?”</p><p>“Sure, thanks.” She shuts the door behind her, and Dean lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. </p><p>Normally he wouldn’t hit the sack so early, but he doesn’t exactly bounce right back from long drives as easily as he used to. Dean ferries his bag of toiletries over to the guest bathroom, washes up for bed, and then figures he’ll thank himself later if he unpacks his bag tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow when there’s actually stuff to do.</p><p>Dean’s barely unzipped his duffel when he looks towards the door, wondering if he imagined hearing someone in the hall. He turns back to his pile of clothes - mostly suits and sweaters, some of which he shamelessly stole out of Sam’s dresser when he found out he was going to be meeting the in-laws and needed something nicer than his usual plaid - but then he hears it again. Definitely a knock.</p><p>Cracking the door open, Dean only has to see a familiar rumpled coat before he swings the door wider. “What’s up?”</p><p>Cas slips inside and shuts the door quietly behind him. Before he can properly register the movement, Dean finds himself pressed firmly against a wall and being kissed within an inch of his life.</p><p>Well. Dean isn’t one to pass up a good opportunity, especially when he doesn’t know how many of them he’ll get until they’re back at home. He drops his hands to Cas’s hips and pulls Cas flush to him, already feeling some of the stress associated with their little charade ebb away. If Cas could only do that after every conversation with his family, he thinks the whole family holiday thing might actually be fun.</p><p>“Just came to say goodnight,” Cas says roughly when he finally draws back. At Dean’s dazed look, he clarifies, “That’s ‘what’s up.’”</p><p>Dean grins, letting his gaze flick over Cas. “We just spent more than twelve hours in the car together, and you’re still coming to say goodnight? You sap.” </p><p>“I think we’ve already established I really, really like you.”</p><p>“Well, I wasn’t gonna tell you this just yet, but-” Dean drops his voice to a whisper. “I really, really like you too, Cas.”</p><p>The dorky smile Cas gives him is nearly too much for Dean to handle, let alone eventually let go of him and allow him to slip next door. He carries it to bed with him, to the mattress that’s slightly too soft and the blankets that are just a shade scratchier than his own, even without the glaring absence that’s the biggest difference of all. </p><p>It’s only a few days. They can do this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean shows up to breakfast mostly-rested and with a renewed resolve to make a good impression at any cost. The siblings, apparently, did not get that memo.</p><p>After a coolly polite breakfast - more brunch than anything, given the time of morning - where Dean utterly fails at engaging Michael in a friendly conversation, everyone gets packed into two cars. Dean tries to get a word in edgewise for allowing him to drive one of the groups, but Cas’s siblings take one look at the Impala and immediately nix that based on a lack of modern safety features. Instead, Dean finds himself bundled into the backseat of a minivan despite his protests.</p><p>When they arrive at their destination, he squints at the sign in confusion. “Isn’t it a little late to be picking out a tree?” Come to think of it, he doesn’t remember seeing a tree in his admittedly short time in the house so far, but he assumed there was one somewhere. </p><p>“Oh, pal, you have no idea what you’ve walked into, do you?” Gabriel’s already halfway through a candy cane, despite the fact that he probably ate more sugar at brunch than Jack did. “We don’t put up a tree like normal people. In this bunch, it’s a competition.”</p><p>He saunters off, leaving Dean wondering what the hell that meant. He turns to Cas, eyebrows raised. </p><p>“You’ll see later,” Cas says, in that cryptic way that Dean kind of hates, and walks off to join his siblings. </p><p>It takes no less than a full hour for everyone to decide on a tree that fits all their specifications, during which time Dean mostly wanders among the rows of trees of all ages to keep himself from freezing. He finally notices the rest of the group gathered around one particularly impressive Douglas fir and heads over in time to hear Michael instructing someone on how to find the house.</p><p>“All that and you guys don’t even bring it home yourselves?” Dean mutters to Cas.</p><p>“Trust me, I’d pay good money to see Michael hauling it inside.”</p><p>Another cramped car ride and a tree delivery later, there’s a bare tree in the living room that would be brushing the ceiling if it wasn’t vaulted. As it stands, it’s tall enough that when Michael drafts Cas into bringing out the ornaments, Dean waits for them to grab a stepladder too.</p><p>There is, apparently, no stepladder.</p><p>“Oh, it’s a whole thing,” Kelly says from her seat on the couch next to him, seemingly unbothered by the spectacle. “They all try to get the ornaments up as high as they can. Whoever hangs the highest one also gets to put the angel on top.”</p><p>So that’s what Gabriel meant. Safely off to the side, Dean tries to hide a wince as he watches the siblings stretching as high as they can go, delicate glass ornaments in hand. Even Cas looks caught up in it, reaching over top of Anna to place a snowman on one of the highest branches and laughing when she playfully shoves him.</p><p>Fortunately Kelly doesn’t seem caught up in the nonsense, although she seems more amused than concerned by the siblings all attempting to outdo each other. Too worried about a fall to really watch, Dean dredges up the fact that Kelly works in state government and starts asking her about her job over in Lansing. Sure, she might wind up mistakenly thinking he’s a political wannabe, but it’s better than watching the sibling drama unfolding before him. Besides, it’s reasonably interesting, hearing about the day-to-day interspersed with cute stories about Jack.</p><p>Dean surfaces from the conversation long enough to hear Cas crowned the winner. Cas carefully lifts Jack above his head with steady hands to place the angel atop the tree, and that-</p><p>Yeah, that part Dean can watch.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>By the time all the detritus of the afternoon’s tree decorating is packed away, it’s nearly time to get ready for dinner. Dean doesn’t usually have much occasion to wear a suit, but he takes extra time to make sure everything looks neat, finishing it all off with a few dabs of the nice cologne Cas got him last Christmas. He inspects himself in the mirror before heading out to meet the rest of them. Definitely good enough for dinner at a swanky restaurant. He cleans up good, if he’s allowed to say that.</p><p>Judging by the look Cas shoots him as they head out to the car, he’s not the only one thinking it.</p><p>Dean’s glad he took the time once he sees the inside of the restaurant. Not his usual scene by any stretch of the imagination, but he doesn’t feel too out of place as they’re escorted to their table, confident that he at least <em> looks </em> like the kind of person who regularly has holiday dinners in this kind of place. </p><p>“We’ll be needing one more chair,” Anna tells the hostess when he sees their table. Dean pauses as he draws even with one of the chairs, casting a quick, confused glance over their group.</p><p>“Oh, look who it is!” Michael <em> beams </em> at a dark-haired woman approaching their table, and Dean’s so thrown by seeing more expression on his face than he’s seen since they arrived that he nearly misses the way Cas goes tense at his side.</p><p>“Hannah, so good to see you!” Anna looks nearly as happy as Michael does.</p><p>Meanwhile, Dean’s stomach just about hits the floor. For a second he thought he’d somehow forgotten another relative, she looks so similar to Cas. But there’s only one Hannah that Cas has ever mentioned, and if she’s here and Cas’s siblings are looking between them like <em> that</em>, he’s gonna have a long dinner to sit through.</p><p>In all the commotion, the hostess returns to slip a chair among the others - and of course she fits it right next to Cas. At least it goes between Cas and Gabriel, not Cas and Dean.</p><p>Instead of spending dinner steadily charming each of Cas’s siblings in turn like he hoped, Dean’s forced to watch as Hannah plays that role. It’s a constant back-and-forth of reminiscing about their time in high school and college - and not that Dean had a traditional schooling background, but what the hell, people really enjoyed the experience enough to fill an entire dinner’s worth of conversation?</p><p>At least he’s seated next to Jack, so he has the option of tuning in to the little guy’s thoughts on his gourmet kiddie burger and asking him to catch up on the latest developments in children’s television since the last time he had occasion to turn it on for Sam. It doesn’t entirely block out the sounds of all the others bonding over how cute Cas and Hannah looked at prom, or the time she went on the family skiing trip, or any number of fondly-remembered stories, though, and Dean spends most of dinner trying to look like absolutely none of this is bothering him. The only comfort he has is that Cas looks like he’s fighting the same battle.</p><p>Finally, <em> finally</em>, everyone starts wrapping everything up and heading back out to the front of the restaurant. Hannah gracefully turns down an invitation from Michael for drinks back at the house and splits off, heading out in front of all the rest of them.</p><p>They’re just about to start filing out the front door when a dark-haired man in what looks like a very expensive suit suddenly appears in the threshold, blocking their exit. “Pardon me,” the guy says with a defiant glance across their group as he steps inside the restaurant. </p><p>To Dean’s surprise, it’s Cas who addresses the awkward greeting. “Oh. Crowley. Hi.”</p><p>Crowley - and that’s gotta be who Dean thinks it is, there can’t be more than one person walking around town with that name - gives Cas an unimpressed once-over. “Castiel.” He drags out the syllables on Cas’s name, then fails to follow it up with any actual greeting, instead swanning towards a table on the other side of the room.</p><p>Michael hums. Somehow it manages to sound disapproving. “His mother didn’t mention he was visiting. He certainly hasn’t been back the last several years.”</p><p>“He’s a real successful contract lawyer now, from what I’ve heard,” Gabriel remarks casually, eyes on Cas.</p><p>Cas clears his throat. “That’s - good. Good for him.”</p><p>Michael and Anna exchange a glance that Dean can’t quite parse, while Gabriel only lifts an eyebrow before resuming their path out of the restaurant. The car ride home is quiet, but then Kelly suggests on her way up to put Jack to bed that they have those drinks anyway, and the good cheer returns as Dean takes charge of doling out drinks. </p><p>Dean might not exactly be in his element, but at least he’s on a more level playing field than at the restaurant. Everyone’s relaxed and in a good mood again, there aren’t any exes around to soak up all the attention - by the time everyone disperses, Dean feels as if he’s made some progress with Anna. She might not be as enthusiastic talking with Dean as she clearly was talking with Hannah, but she’s genuinely warm and welcoming to this stranger crashing her family holiday, and the conversation flows easily for the remainder of the evening. It’s easy to see why she’s Cas’s favorite sibling.</p><p>After enough people decide to head up to bed, Dean lingers at the base of the stairs and then splits off to the kitchen on a hunch. He’s right - he did see Cas disappear into the kitchen.</p><p>He just missed that Cas wasn’t the only one who took a detour.</p><p>Cas and Gabriel’s hushed conversation cuts off as they turn in unison to look at him from the sink. Cas only pauses briefly before turning back to deposit the last of the glasses into the dishwasher.</p><p>The smirk Gabriel levels at him is far too knowing for comfort. “Needed a snack before bed? You didn’t eat much at dinner.”</p><p>“I was just - uh. Gonna say goodnight to Cas.”</p><p>“Oooookay then.” </p><p>Gabriel waits a beat, darting a glance between the two of them, until Cas says, “Give us a minute, Gabriel, would you?”</p><p>“Say no more,” Gabriel says, aiming finger guns at both of them. “Night, kids.”</p><p>As soon as he’s around the corner, Cas tugs Dean into the butler’s pantry and leans against the door. “I am <em> so </em> sorry about all that.”</p><p>“You sure you don’t have any other exes you want me to meet while we’re in town? Think I’ve still got some room in my schedule.” Dean grins at the dismayed groan Cas lets out.</p><p>“Yes, you’re very funny.” Cas scrubs his hands over his face and through his hair, turning it into a ruffled mess. Dean has to remind himself not to get distracted. “I swear I had no idea they were going to do that.”</p><p>“Oh, the look on your face made that <em> very </em> clear. You think they’ll ever like me as much as they like her?”</p><p>Cas winces and tilts his head back, clearly stalling, and Dean warns, “Think carefully before you answer that.”</p><p>That’s enough to get a wry smile from Cas. Not ideal, but he’ll take it. “I’m pretty sure they don’t even like <em> me </em> as much as they like her, so don’t feel too bad about it.” </p><p>“Well, hey, look at it this way,” Dean says, clapping Cas on the shoulder, careful to keep just enough distance between them in case someone catches them unaware. “You only have to spend a few days with ‘em for the holidays. Maybe the occasional text or phone call if you’re feeling generous. The rest of the time you’ve got me, and I like you a hell of a lot better than her.”</p><p>Cas’s smile widens, turning more genuine. “Not to speak ill of your acting skills-”</p><p>“Hey-”</p><p>“-but I could tell you weren’t a fan.”</p><p>“Well, nothing against her. Or Michael or Anna, even if their accidental run-in charade was painfully obvious. But I can deal with one dinner.”</p><p>Cas says, “Oh, I can almost guarantee tomorrow night will be worse. An opportunity for Michael to solidify his business connections with his soon-to-be business partners? At the most stuck-up country club in the state? Everyone’s going to have to play at being one big happy family to help Michael out.”</p><p>“Way to sell it, Cas.”</p><p>“Well, Michael’s hoping that making a good impression will help him be able to move the merger along faster. I’m hoping so, too.”</p><p>And the sooner the merger happens, the sooner Cas will feel comfortable telling his family about them. Dean lets out a breath. “So no pressure, then. Great.”</p><p>Even after they both head up to bed - separately, and damn if that still doesn’t sting a bit - Dean can’t shake the nerves that come with having his proposal plans partially dependent on how long Michael and his partners take to get a piece of paper signed. Impressing Cas’s family without letting them realize why he’s trying to is hard enough without any other curveballs. Without thinking too hard about what he’s doing, he finds his phone in his hand as he settles into bed.</p><p>Most of the tension drops from his shoulders when he hears the voice on the other end of the line. He doesn’t want to dump his crap on Sam when he’s having a perfectly nice time with Eileen’s family, and there’s only one other person who knows the details of the situation. “Why are you calling so soon? Is everything okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, Charlie, everything’s fine. Just checking in - dogsitting going okay?”</p><p>“You know how nice Sam’s fancy lawyer McMansion is. Me and the mutt are living it up. How are things there? Figured out the right moment to pop the question yet?”</p><p>“Well, uh. Turns out Cas isn’t out to his family, so that probably isn’t happening until we’re back.”</p><p>“<em> WHAT? </em>” Dean yanks the phone away from his ear too late to save himself from the initial outburst, but at least he misses the long string of creative swearing that follows. </p><p>“Charlie. Charlie!”</p><p>She grumbles another minute before saying, “I knew the guy came from one of those really repressed families, but jeez. So what, they think he invited his roommate to family Christmas just to be friendly? Just guys being dudes?”</p><p>“Basically, yeah.”</p><p>“That really sucks, Dean, I’m sorry.”</p><p>Dean picks at a loose thread on the comforter to distract himself from the twist in his stomach. “Yeah, it kinda does. But being alone for the holiday was gonna suck anyway, and now he’s gonna owe me for the next, like, five Christmases, so that’s something.”</p><p>That defuses Charlie enough to allow Dean to distract her into telling him all her hot takes about the show she’s been binge-watching with the dog, and when they finally hang up, he’s thoroughly distracted from the mess he’s found himself in. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>The following morning and afternoon turns into a cookie-baking marathon that Dean’s more than happy to sit out, watching from the sidelines as Gabriel and Anna produce sheet after sheet of increasingly gourmet concoctions in an attempt to outdo each other. Michael has the sense to stay locked in his office, on the phone with important investors before the big event, but Cas and Kelly get drafted into the whole mess as baking assistants.</p><p>Meanwhile, Dean alternates between watching with amusement as Cas gets good-naturedly bossed around by Gabriel and entertaining Jack when he becomes bored by the cookie-cutting process and decides to skip the oven in favor of shoveling cookie dough directly into his mouth. Not that Dean can blame him - he steals a couple spoonfuls’ worth on his way back to timeout in the breakfast nook with Jack, and they make a game out of sneaking bites when everyone’s backs are turned before they’re caught and their nearly-empty spoons are confiscated.</p><p>Early evening rolls around, and at least it’s a rinse and repeat of last night - Dean’s more confident as he makes tiny adjustments to look his best in tonight’s suit. He might not have a whole lot of expectations other than not embarrassing himself in front of Michael’s business partners and investors, since as far as anyone’s aware he’s not part of the family, but he’ll be damned if he isn’t going to at least look the part. </p><p>Before they even set foot in the country club where Michael’s business reception is being hosted, Dean can already tell Cas’s words last night were accurate, but it’s cemented once they get past the coat check. The grand staircase leads down to a glittering ballroom stuffed to the gills with a forest’s worth of gold-trimmed Christmas trees, all offset by a sweeping view of Lake St. Clair from the bank of glass doors forming the back wall.</p><p>Yeah, pretty much where he’d expect a bunch of insufferably rich assholes to hold a boardroom power play disguised as a holiday party. </p><p>Michael doles out information on the important players for the evening - though he sighs and warns Gabriel not to take too much advantage of the open bar, and Cas to avoid talking to anyone who doesn’t talk to him first. Dean doesn’t even merit being addressed specifically, and he wonders, through the stab of annoyance, why they all have to be there if Michael only wanted to bring attention to the most palatable of his siblings.</p><p>At least it means Dean’s off the hook as far as schmoozing goes. Drink acquired from the <em> very </em> well-stocked bar, he wanders the edges of the room, inspecting the elaborate ornaments adorning each tree. Handmade, he’s willing to bet, and expensive as hell. No interesting gossip to eavesdrop on, to his dismay, but the night’s early.</p><p>Cas appears at his elbow almost an hour in.“There you are,” he says, relief evident in his voice. </p><p>“You good?” Dean looks Cas up and down, taking in the slightly frantic look in his eyes and the creases in the cuffs of his jacket where he’s been clutching at the fabric.</p><p>“Raphael made it down for the party. He won’t stop asking me why I’m still not doing my part working for the company while also hinting that I would do a really bad job at it.”</p><p>Ah. The way Cas tells it, the three eldest brothers are also the ones he has the rockiest relationship with. He’s seen how Michael stepped into the role of patriarch with all the baggage that comes with it, and Luke’s absence speaks for itself, but it sounds like Raphael is being exactly the humorless jackass Cas always paints him as.</p><p>“Well, you live with your hot boyfriend in Kansas, so that kind of puts a damper on working in Detroit,” Dean says, tipping his glass in Cas’s direction in a silent offer. Cas shakes his head at the question, but his hand moves toward Dean’s -</p><p>Only to drop in an aborted motion as someone behind them says “Cas!” too close for comfort. They both turn and see Hannah and three others Dean doesn’t recognize.</p><p>Dean nods and smiles in all the right places as Cas introduces Hester, Rachel, and Inias, all connected to the company in some way. But he can’t help the way his smile tightens as Hannah says, “Can I talk to you for a second?” and leads Cas away with a hand inside his elbow.</p><p>Fortunately, his phone buzzes after a few minutes of bland conversation about how the merger will affect their departments, saving him from the possibility of having to make conversation with any of them.</p><p>“I’d better-” Dean waves his phone to illustrate his point before realizing that nobody’s paying attention. His escape route leads him out to a wide brick patio lined with white columns on either side, and he casts a quick glance around before answering the phone.</p><p>“Trouble in paradise, Sam?” he asks, leaning up against the wall.</p><p>“I could ask you the same thing. Charlie filled me in - what the hell, Dean?”</p><p>“Yeah, hasn’t exactly been the ‘meet the family’ trip I thought Cas was asking me on,” Dean admits. “But it’s fine. Getting them to like me is still a work in progress, though.”</p><p>“And what, you’re okay with him keeping you guys secret the whole time?”</p><p>“Hey, don’t say it like that. There’s some big fuss with the family business right now that’s nearly wrapped up, and he’s gonna break the news after that. Shouldn’t be too long after the holidays.”</p><p>Sam’s disapproving hum echoes down the line, but he likes Cas nearly as much as Dean does, so he doesn’t say much more about it. “Just...remember you don’t deserve to be hidden like that. And if they’re anything less than proud to have you as part of the family, that’s their fault, not yours.”</p><p>Dean rolls his eyes, but it’s kind of nice to hear it, even if Sam’s being sappy as ever. “Yeah, yeah. Enough about me and Cas - how’s it going with Eileen’s family? They figured out you’re a complete nerd and she’s too cool for you yet?”</p><p>This is Sam’s second time going back to meet Eileen’s adoptive mom and the rest of her family, but the last time was in the spring, so Dean lets Sam update him on how weird it is to be walking around in short sleeves in the dead of winter until the cold really starts burning his lungs on each inhale. </p><p>“Listen, man, I better get back inside - some stupid fancy business thing thing pretending it’s a party - but we’ll talk Christmas morning, sound good? I want to hear what you think of your present.”</p><p>Sam groans good-naturedly. “If it’s as bad as what you got me last year-”</p><p>“Guess you’ll see in a couple days, huh?”</p><p>“Yeah, well, don’t have too much fun at your boring party.”</p><p>Dean stands outside for another minute after he hangs up and tucks his phone back into his pocket, watching his breath plume into the air and listening to the muffled sounds of conversation inside. The scuff of shoes on brick brings him back to himself, looking to the side to see someone step out from the shadow of one of the columns, glass in hand. </p><p>“I promise I was out here before you were. Didn’t intend to eavesdrop.”</p><p>Hard not to recognize the guy after the scene at the restaurant last night. “Crowley, right? I’m Dean.” He hitches a thumb over his shoulder. “Didn’t know you were involved with that whole circus.”</p><p>“Michael’s business partners wanted the best to iron out all the details on their new merger. That means me.” Crowley shrugs and downs the rest of his whiskey. “I’m sure it was a nasty surprise for Michael to find out they’d flown me in for it, but I wasn’t exactly looking forward to heading home for the holidays, either. Even if it’s only on business.”</p><p>“Bad blood there, huh?”</p><p>Crowley snorts. “In a sense. Sounds like you’ve got your own issues with them, am I right?”</p><p>The chill in the air has nothing to do with the way Dean’s blood freezes. Running through everything he’d said on the phone, he hedges, “Not sure what you mean.”</p><p>But Crowley’s watching him with a knowing smirk. “Just that - as someone who’s been there before - I hope <em> you </em> don’t have any bad blood with Castiel or his family by the time you head home.”</p><p>Dean very carefully doesn’t think about how Cas doesn’t like to talk about the circumstances surrounding his time with Crowley, or what happened that made them lose contact. “They, uh. They seem like a nice bunch, actually.”</p><p>The smirk twists into something sadder before Crowley lifts his empty glass in a mockery of a toast. “I should go rejoin the fun. I’m sure there’s someone waiting to pick my brain about yet another clause that would be explained in full if they’d just read the damned fine print.”</p><p>Dean spends another few minutes outside after Crowley leaves, gathering his shaken nerves before heading back inside. Looks like he’s just in time - Michael’s rapidly approaching the podium set up at one side of the ballroom, flanked by two of his soon-to-be partners.</p><p>Michael’s speech starts with the usual platitudes. A new era for the company, expansion into other sectors allowing a new level of innovation, a lot of big buzzwords that ultimately mean nothing. Dean’s too busy scanning the crowd to fully listen until his eyes finally catch on Cas at the far side of the room.</p><p>“It’s been a long time coming. There were times it seemed like it might be too difficult to get all the moving parts to fall into place, but-”</p><p>Dean watches as Cas cuts through the crowd as unobtrusively as possible in a gathering this size, heading his way.</p><p>“Nobody is more thrilled than I am about this partnership-”</p><p>With one more muttered “excuse me,” Cas is back at Dean’s side, standing just slightly closer than appropriate.</p><p>“And we look forward to where it takes us in the new year.”</p><p>The back of Cas’s hand brushes against Dean’s, his index finger briefly hooking into Dean’s thumb before retreating. If they were at home, Dean could chase Cas’s hand with his own, tangle their fingers together without a second thought of who might see them. But soon enough, he’ll be asking Cas to marry him, and for now he figures he can settle for another fleeting touch before anyone else notices.</p><p>Cas slants a small, private smile up at him, and Dean thinks he wouldn’t change a thing right now.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Caught in the haze between sleep and wakefulness, his calf tucked between Cas’s legs and Cas snoring into his shoulder, Dean forgets they’re not at home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until there’s a loud knock at the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean’s eyes fly open, and he only needs a second to take in the carefully bland furnishings to realize they’re in trouble. He vaguely remembers texting back and forth with Cas after going to bed, then  sneaking down the hall to his room after a pointed comment from Cas about never getting up to anything with a boyfriend in his bedroom as a teenager.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> remembers he was supposed to head back to his room afterwards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stumbling out of bed, Dean starts pulling his sweatpants on one-handed while shaking Cas’s shoulder with the others. “Wake up!” he hisses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On any other day, the furrow that appears between Cas’s eyebrows as he blinks awake would be freaking adorable, but not when there’s another knock on the door. “Cas? Are you up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean sees realization dawn on Cas’s face right before he throws Cas’s flannel pants at him and looks for a suitable hiding spot. While Cas scrambles to get decent, Dean resigns himself to the fact that the only way he has a chance of staying out of sight if he doesn’t want to crawl under the bed is if he crams himself into the closet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s barely shut the door behind him when he hears Cas yank open his bedroom door. Dean stays very still, careful to breathe softly as he hears Kelly’s voice from the doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry if I woke you up. I have some phone calls I have to take care of for work today - would you be able to take Jack for a few hours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! Um. Sure. I’ll, uh, get right on that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Cas. You’re the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a long, silent moment where Dean doesn’t dare to move, and then Cas opens the closet door, wearing his flannel pants and Dean’s gray t-shirt, squinting in the way he always does before he’s had any coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Real smooth there, pal,” Dean says, patting him on the chest as he brushes by him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They wind up scarfing coffee and homemade breakfast sandwiches standing at the kitchen island so they can get Jack off Kelly’s hands as soon as possible. Jack’s bouncing off the walls and the rolling expanse of lawn in the backyard has a fresh layer of snow, so Kelly gratefully waves them on their way out after making sure Jack’s bundled up to her standards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack happily hangs onto both of their hands as they head towards the back of the yard, keeping up a running stream of commentary about school, and his favorite class activities, and all the cool field trips they’re going to go on in spring. “And I’ve made four new friends so far! I think Eliot is my best friend, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas makes a considering noise. “That sounds like a good choice, Jack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have a best friend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Dean is my best friend.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack squints up at Dean, as if he’s deciding whether or not Dean is good enough for his favorite uncle, but eventually he shrugs. “I guess that’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean just about chokes on his own laughter, but at least he doesn’t drop Jack’s hand, considering he’s suspended between the two of them in the middle of a particularly high jump over a snowbank. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least Mom lets all of them come over to play, not just Eliot. Just not on break because we’re away.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turns out Jack’s better at keeping up a constant stream of chatter than he is at shaping snow into the body of his snowman. Still, he’s enthusiastic about gathering small handfuls of snow to add to the pile, and he’s a stickler for patting it into a perfectly smooth surface once Dean and Cas have gotten the individual pieces rolled out. The end result isn’t half bad, in Dean’s opinion. Even though the only sticks in the yard are a little too short to be proper arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, kid,” Dean says when he thinks Jack might make another series of tiny adjustments if they allow him to stare at the snowman for another minute. “I think there might be some hot chocolate inside with your name on it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The promise of sugar puts a light in Jack’s eyes and sends him barrelling towards the patio door. Dean huffs a laugh, and he and Cas follow at a more sedate pace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dean.” Cas nabs him by the wrist of his coat, looks around, and slips his hand into Dean’s for a brief squeeze. “After Kelly’s done today - remember the classmates of mine you met last night? Michael arranged a less formal holiday party for them, so Anna and I are going out with them later if you want to join.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why does Michael care about you getting to hang out with a bunch of school friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas tilts his head in confusion. “Well, they all work for the company in some way or another now. That’s why they were at the reception the other day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s no real reason for the curl of jealousy in Dean’s gut, and he knows it, but there it is anyway. “Is Hannah gonna be there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s the one who invited us to join. You, too, if you want to come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean most definitely does </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to come. He fumbles for an excuse that doesn’t remind Cas how out of place he feels among the polished young professionals that his older siblings think Cas belongs with. “I’m good. I promised Sam I’d get him a souvenir, anyway, so I should find one while I can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Driving with no particular destination in mind isn’t what Dean expected to be doing after handing Jack back to Kelly a few hours later - he was kind of looking forward to some unscheduled downtime with Cas away from his family, to be honest - but he hasn’t been able to go for a drive for the last couple of days, so taking the Impala for a spin isn’t the worst way to spend the day, even if the roads here are more pothole than asphalt. He drives north along the lake until he’s in spitting distance of the border, then turns and makes his way back in a slow loop. He does a double take when he passes the exit for the zoo and finds himself thinking that they should come back before they leave, him and Cas and Jack and Kelly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So far, the visit’s been - fine. Weird, but fine. He really does like Kelly and Jack - Cas clicks with them in a way he doesn’t with the rest of the family, and even if Dean would never admit it, it’s heartwarming to see. Anna’s nice, if a little too proper for Dean to feel totally comfortable around her, while Gabriel’s irreverence puts Dean more at ease. Michael and Raphael and presumably Luke, though…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean never really understood why Cas was always so reluctant to visit his family yet dutifully shipped himself north every year for the holidays, but he’s starting to understand it. The family expectations for everyone playing their roles for the good of the company seem clear even to Dean. For Cas, who grew up in that life after Michael dealt with his new role after their parents’ deaths by tying up the idea of the family legacy into the company? The weight of those expectations are clear. And sure, Dean’s a little annoyed that Cas seems to fall more easily into line the longer he’s here - hanging out with the worker bees in an attempt to woo him back to the family business, letting his siblings try to set him up with Hannah - but he can’t help but be impressed he broke away so decisively in the first place and made a life several states away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It leaves Dean feeling even more out of place than he already would, seeing Cas trying to act the way his siblings expect him to, but he supposes it can’t be easy doing the opposite of what your family wants </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> year round.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It only occurs to him as he’s approaching the exit for Michael’s house that he might as well get Sam and Eileen those souvenirs to show for his day of aimless driving. There’s a strip of upscale stores that he remembers Cas pointing out on their way into town, and Dean occupies another hour or so poking through their overpriced contents before settling on a book of the most haunted historical spots in the state for Sam and a bottle of local wine for Eileen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Last minute shopping?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The unexpected question nearly startles Dean into fumbling both his purchases on his way out of the shop. Crowley looks far too pleased with himself when Dean finally regains his composure and glares his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Figured I might as well get a little something extra for my brother and his fiancée since we’re in different states for the holiday. You?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The idiots in charge of contract negotiations finally realized that I know what’s best and listened to my advice. Thought I deserved to go out for a drink after all the times they made me repeat myself this week.” Crowley’s mouth curves into a wicked smile. “Although I suppose I should be nice. Your boyfriend’s brothers knew I was ripping them off. Nothing too crazy, but it made me feel better.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Dean’s instinct that Crowley overheard too much when he was on the damn phone with Sam was correct, then. He shrugs, caught out. “Hey, Cas isn’t involved with the company at all. I’m not gonna get offended on his behalf. Any place in particular you were heading for that drink?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If pressed, Dean’s not sure he could explain how he went from a casual conversation to standing on a stage in a rundown bar singing bad karaoke with Cas’s ex. But hey, Crowley’s kind of funny under his smarmy lawyer persona, and best of all, Dean doesn’t have to keep up the act around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometime after they get kicked offstage for their mangled rendition of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Baby It’s Cold Outside</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Crowley asks, “So what has Castiel told you about me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean squints into the fruity mixed drink Crowley ordered him as a joke, then across the booth. “Not much. You were friends, then dated briefly, then broke up pretty quickly. Standard high school stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha! Not quite, though I’ll give him points for creativity.” At Dean’s questioning glance, Crowley clarifies, “We never dated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thinking back to figure out whether Cas actually told him that or if he just assumed would take brain power that Dean doesn’t have right now, courtesy of said mixed drink. “So what, then? He just gets squirrelly at the mention of you for no reason?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve always known who I am, what I want, and how to get it, even growing up. Castiel was very far from that. His family never liked me to begin with - not that we were friends, exactly, but we gravitated towards each other the way queer kids do without realizing it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley shrugs. “Castiel was...questioning. Himself, his family, his beliefs - everything. Someone overheard us talking, brought it up to his brothers, and the next day he fell back into line. Never talked to me again. I’m glad he finally went his own way, don’t get me wrong, but it would’ve been nice to see him do it a little earlier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I said. Bad blood.” Crowley spins his empty glass on the tabletop. “Could’ve been worse, though. And I’m slated to get a very hefty paycheck that Michael will be contributing towards, so I’m feeling a lot more forgiving of Castiel’s family lately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, good for you. I’d have you buy the next round if I could have another.” He can’t admit he actually likes the drink Crowley ordered - not his usual, obviously, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> delicious - so he’s lucky he’s driving back afterwards as an easy excuse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite being voluntarily cut off and their disgraceful forced retirement from the stage, it’s pretty festive inside the bar, and Dean finds himself staying out longer than he expected. When he leaves, it’s with Crowley’s number saved in his contacts for if he needs an excuse to get out of the house, and a promise to tell him when the big reveal happens.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sliding into the driver’s seat, Dean takes a minute to let the heat kick in and banish the chill from the interior of the Impala. He fiddles with his phone a minute before calling Cas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s so much background noise it’s hard to hear Cas at first. “Guess I shouldn’t bother asking if you’re back at the house yet, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re still out.” There’s a brief shuffle, and the background noise gets a lot quieter. “Did you change your mind about joining us? I can send you directions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m gonna turn in early. On my way back to the house now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas is quiet a minute. “Are you sure? I missed you today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not like they’d be able to do anything other than stand with careful distance between them, even if he did go to Cas now. Dean bites his tongue on pointing that out. “I’m pretty tired. Let me know when you get back, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean keeps an eye on his phone as he showers, brushes his teeth, gets changed into his pajamas. The short buzz of an incoming text comes as he’s struggling to stay awake through the end of a chapter of a shitty western novel on his e-reader, and he finally falls asleep to the sound of soft voices echoing up from the front hall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It gets easier, throughout the day, to get some distance from what Crowley told him last night. It’s been a long time since Cas lived here, since he was the awkward teenager who had to listen to Michael as he took on the role of patriarch far too early. When Dean brings Cas a cup of coffee and some painkillers to soften the blow of waking him after a late night and Cas instead chooses to hide his face in the curve of Dean’s neck with a groan before he even looks at either offering, it’s hard to see anything other than the man who chose to move away from all this to live his own life. Who continues to choose Dean, enough to want him there for the holiday even if he went about it all wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s less than thrilled when Raphael informs them what time they’re expected at the Christmas Eve service - it’s earlier than Dean expected, and since he has no interest in attending, that’ll leave him to his own devices for a good chunk of the evening. Time to call and catch up with everyone else he can’t be with for the holiday, he guesses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that still leaves them with a big block of unscheduled time in the day that needs to be filled. Anna and Kelly are immediately on board when Dean hesitantly offers up his idea from yesterday, while Gabriel thinks about it before shrugging and saying he has nothing better to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Dean starts out a little grumpy about being relegated to the third row of Kelly’s minivan with Cas on the ride over to the zoo, but it vanishes by the time they get through the gates. Jack’s energy is infectious as he leads the way to his favorite exhibits, and even Gabriel, trailing behind with a cup of Dippin’ Dots despite the freezing weather, seems to be having a good time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean, for one, feels a lot more comfortable without Michael and Raphael there looking over his shoulder. The smaller group seems to be doing Cas some good, too - this is the most animated Dean has seen him the entire visit, laughing and chatting with everyone in turn. It’s a relief to see after a few days around the Cas who hides himself away to survive the family holiday. When Cas lags behind inside the butterfly garden because he’s too distracted by the colorful wings fluttering around him to catch up with the others, Dean can’t resist sneaking a kiss among the greenery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only snag in their trip comes when Jack can’t squeeze close enough to the window in the penguin house to see anything. His lower lip only has a second to tremble before Cas is there, hoisting him onto his hip to look out over the crowd and asking Jack to point out which kind of penguin is his favorite. Crisis averted, but it’s enough to send them heading back towards the front gates afterwards to avoid any further upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kelly slows as they approach the fountain set in the middle of the main walkway. She only gets halfway through asking Dean if he can take their photo in front of the ridiculous centerpiece shaped like a pair of bears before Cas, who never talks to strangers unless he absolutely can’t avoid it, recruits a passerby and hauls Dean in next to him for the shot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tucked under Cas’s arm, Dean grins wider for the photo than he has in days.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you calling on Christmas Eve, anyway? Don’t you have a boyfriend there to keep you company?” Charlie asks when she’s finally pestered him into telling her she can open her gift early. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, I can’t pass on holiday wishes a little early?” Dean says, tugging down the hem of the dark green sweater that makes his eyes look just a little more golden. “Besides, they’re all at church. Cas said they’re heading back once they get done talking to everyone at the reception after.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cas is there too? I thought half the reason he moved so far away was to get away from the whole religious family background.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought so, too.” Dean scuffs his knuckles across the knee of his nicest pair of jeans, wondering if he should continue. But if there’s anyone he can genuinely talk about this with, it’s Charlie. “Same with all the company stuff - you know they still want him to come back and work for them? He said they stopped pushing it years ago, but they’re setting up meetings with old friends of his who work for them now, trying to get him to come back any way they can. I don’t know if Cas actually doesn’t see it or if he just doesn’t want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I know you have a blind spot where Cas is concerned, but you and I both know he isn’t the best at that kind of thing. Maybe he just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A short knock on the door interrupts her. “Hold that thought, Charlie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opens the door to find Anna on the other side. “Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you were on the phone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that Cas’s sister I’m hearing?” Charlie’s pitch </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> volume manage to climb even higher. “Hi, Anna, nice to not-meet you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean lifts his phone away from his ear with a wince, while Anna laughs and says hi back. “That’s Charlie for you. She’s, uh-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anna leans in close. “Is she your ex?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean was going to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>enthusiastic</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He hopes Anna doesn’t see how his brain shorts out trying to process a universe where Charlie, practically his sister, could be mistaken for anything like an ex, but apparently his silence goes on for too long. “The one you’re not over?” Anna continues helpfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charlie’s voice emerges from the speaker. “Yes! That’s me! I am...trying to win him back. Because I am. Uh. Deeply in love with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow Anna takes this at face value. With an apologetic wave, she says, “Well, I don’t want to interrupt any longer, but there’s coffee and dessert downstairs when you’re free to join us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean thanks her with a weak smile and shuts the door, sitting heavily on the edge of the bed. After a careful wait, Charlie ventures, “Guess that’s a no on whether or not he’s told them, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you can’t rush that kind of thing, Dean.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does, and she knows it. He swallows down a sigh. “Guess it’s a good thing we’re heading back the day after tomorrow. I know that’s the kind of thing that gets easier with distance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charlie hums thoughtfully. “You know the other good thing about being back in town soon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We get to commandeer Sam’s flatscreen since he won’t be back yet. You, me, the dog, and a Star Trek series of your choice. It’s an essential part of keeping the dog happy while his parents are gone. Cas is invited, but he has to provide the food since he made me listen to you being sad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean huffs out a laugh. “Sounds good to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, he’s off the phone and heading down the stairs. He avoids the fresh pot of decaf like the plague and snags a slice of pie instead, coming in at the tail end of a conversation about the relative merits of this year’s holiday sermon versus previous years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like you all had a blast,” Dean says to Gabriel under his breath. He never got the impression the guy would be able to sit through anything longer than fifteen minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gabriel snorts. “I’ve gotten very good at looking contemplative while secretly looking at my phone over the years,” he confides. Dean’s laugh earns them a disapproving glare from Raphael, which only intensifies when Dean stuffs a big bite of pecan pie into his mouth. It takes Dean smiling obnoxiously back at him around his pie, refusing to be cowed, before Raphael finally turns away with a sneer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he finishes chewing - too large a bite, even for him, but Dean’s not one to back down from a challenge - he sees Gabriel casting an appraising glance over him out of the corner of his eye. “You’re good for him, you know,” Gabriel says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean swallows, not quite sure to respond. He’s silently flailing for a noncommittal statement when Gabriel rolls his eyes and mutters, “Never mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if Dean’s not typically one for cozy holiday gatherings, he can appreciate sitting in front of a crackling fire with a generous helping of pie. Things get even better when he realizes he can ask Gabriel for embarrassing childhood stories of Cas, and that Gabriel will gleefully provide all the blackmail material he could possibly want. Not that he needs it for any particular reason, but Cas can ask Sam about Dean’s greatest hits anytime - and has, in the past - so Dean thinks he’s entitled to a few.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His good cheer vanishes during a lull in the conversation that allows him to overhear the others from across the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hannah seemed happy to see you after the service.” There’s a faintly teasing note to Michael’s voice that sets Dean’s teeth on edge as soon as he registers what they’re talking about. “It’s good to see you two together again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was always a good influence on you,” Raphael agrees idly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thing is, he can see exactly how tense Cas goes at that. But he doesn’t say anything. Dean can feel his mouth trying to twist as the comment hits too close to a nerve rubbed raw over the course of their visit. He stands abruptly, brandishing his empty plate in front of him as an excuse, and tries to make as unobtrusive an exit from the room as he can. The kitchen is blessedly quiet, and Dean sinks against the side of the island, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’ll get around to cleaning his plate off in a minute, give him an excuse to hide away until he regains his composure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Faintly, he hears Anna call Cas’s name. He doesn’t put together the reason for the note of concern in her voice until Cas is standing in front of him, crowding him against the counter. One of Cas’s hands goes to the back of Dean’s neck while the other tugs his hand away from his face to look him in the eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All Cas has to say to get him to spill, as it turns out, is a soft “Dean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just - I’m tired, man,” he admits. “They have this perfect plan for you where you come back and fit right back into the life they want for you, and you and I both know that’s never gonna happen, but you won’t push back on it. So how’s it going to go when you tell them about the really important stuff if it isn’t something they want to hear? Telling them about us? You?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas’s thumb is a firm pressure on Dean’s cheekbone as he searches his eyes. Whatever he finds furrows his brow. “This is upsetting you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean can’t help but bristle slightly at the word. “I’m fine, I knew what I was getting into, I just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dean.” More firmly, this time. “I told you before we got here that this was never about their approval. I know that once I tell them, they’re not going to be thrilled with me, so I thought...we might as well have one last peaceful holiday before I ruin their plans for me for good. No need to push back on anything they say while we’re here. But </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I should’ve realized it was affecting you too. I’m sorry I didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean has to pretend he isn’t turning all warm and gooey hearing Cas talk about him like that. He thinks of the small box relegated to the bottom of his duffel as soon as they arrived and hides a small smile. “I think you might be able to convince me to forgive you. Besides, the business stuff won’t be done until we’re back home anyway, so you’ve got some time for them to cool down between you telling them to lay off the passive-aggressive job offers now and then telling them about us later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas tilts his head to the side, and Dean’s not sure if the calculating look in his eyes should make him nervous. “I might have a better idea,” he says, and steps away only far enough to take Dean’s hand in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cas?” Dean hisses as Cas turns and pulls him firmly along from the kitchen into the living room. “What the hell are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stop short in front of Michael, Raphael, and Anna. Dean sees Kelly’s eyes drop to their joined hands from her seat nearby and briefly wishes for the ground to swallow him whole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Michael, Raphael, I want to be very clear about a few things.” Cas barely waits for them to look his way before he continues. “I know you’ve always expected me to come back and help out with the company eventually like Anna and Gabriel have, but it’s not going to happen. I have a life back home, with a job and friends. With Dean. I was going to wait until you had the deal all wrapped up to tell everyone, but-” A brilliant smile breaks out on Cas’s face. “He makes me very happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas’s voice is just a shade too loud throughout, but it doesn’t waver. It’s more than Dean can say about the moment he took the plunge and told Bobby that he and Cas were moving in together, and no, it wasn’t to save on rent. Dean’s damn proud of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure, standing there and listening to Anna and Kelly’s effusive warm wishes and Gabriel’s cheerful ribbing makes him squirm under all the attention. But it also means he gets to wake up with Cas again the next morning, and sit too close to him on the loveseat while they watch Jack excitedly tear through his pile of presents, and feel like he might have a place in Cas’s family after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So worth the trip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>True to his word, Cas lets Dean make their holiday plans the next year. Dean’s pretty sure Cas gets sick of being asked if he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> he doesn’t mind if they don’t make the trip up to Michigan this year by about October.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spend the holiday at home - at Sam and Eileen’s house, really, because Dean loves himself and refuses to cook an entire Christmas dinner for all of them plus Charlie in the tiny kitchen of their apartment. Cas disappears into the home office for a video call to his family while Dean’s babysitting all the individual dishes in the dual ovens and on the stovetop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you get to talk to everyone?” Dean asks, a little distracted as he finishes bundling the rolls into a lined basket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas’s shrug is an answer in itself. “Most of them,” he says. Dean can read between the lines.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Cas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably for the best we weren’t there in person this year. Partially because of how loud Jack shrieked when he opened our gift on the call,” Cas says, and somehow there’s still a half-smile on his face despite half of his siblings not bothering to talk to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” There’s still a few more side dishes to pull out of the oven, but they can wait a minute. “If they still haven’t pulled their heads out of their asses, that’s on them, not you. The rest of your family? Gabriel and Anna and Kelly and Jack, and us here? We think you’re awesome. And majority rules, you know that.” Dean stops himself before he says too much - he wants to see the look on Cas’s face when the four of them arrive for a surprise visit at New Year’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As it turns out, he shouldn’t have worried. Cas cuts off his rambling with a kiss, and Dean vaguely has the thought that someone should probably rescue the sweet potatoes, but then he gets too sidetracked to follow up on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gross, Dean, not in my kitchen!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean starts laughing at Sam’s scandalized tone, like it isn’t something he’s caught them doing a hundred times before. Cas manages to look quite a bit more apologetic than Dean does before Sam rolls his eyes and turns back away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Need help carrying all of this to the table?” Cas asks, reaching for the basket of rolls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean can’t help the grin that spreads across his face as he turns back to the stove. “Thanks, Cas.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nearly a year already since he proposed, and he still can’t quite get over the thrill that goes through him every time he sees his mom’s ring on Cas’s finger. Cas is probably going to figure out soon that he can use that to his advantage, if he hasn’t already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean really doesn’t mind.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Took a little longer to finish than expected since this was the part where I strayed the furthest from the movie plotline! This was already a loose adaptation, but here's where I really needed to tone down the angst.</p><p>I had a lot of fun writing this for me and the spn group chat - enough that I wrote a lot in a short amount of time by my standards - but thank you to anyone else who read it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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